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kottke.org posts about Diana Hardeman

Scenes from a stroke

Diana Hardeman is 30, healthy, and has no history of past medical issues. A few days before Christmas, she had a stroke.

My right arm seemed no longer a part of my body. I couldn’t control it; it was limp at my side, like the worst dead arm you can imagine, but completely out of nowhere. My boyfriend was just coming to check on what time we are leaving and I exited the bathroom, slumped on the ground, and told him what was going on. Except I didn’t. I couldn’t. What I was saying in my head came out as gibberish. I could not get words out of my mouth. I felt stupid, even laughing at myself, saying, “It’s ok, it’s ok” to him, thinking it might just go away. But then the reminder that something was wrong set in again. In a whisper, I finally got out the words “call my dad.” He did. My parents happened to be right outside and my father, a physician, ran up the stairs to find us. When he saw me stuttering and holding my dead arm, he called for an ambulance. By now I was crying, perhaps in hysterics, as the numbness had seeped from my arm to my whole right side. I then calmed, stopped tying to speak, as it was frustrating and pointless, and looked into my boyfriend’s eyes saying to him with mine, I may not walk again. I may die, somewhat acquiescing to whatever it was that was happening to me. I caught myself, though, and thought, No, that can’t happen, I gotta fight it, and kicked off my boots to try to move legs and focused my mind on, well, not dying.

Hardeman also posted the original unedited version of her story written during recovery. Its less-than-flowing prose bears the mark of a semi-functioning arm and brain.

In case you don’t know me, Hi. Im Diana. I’m a 30 year old lady. Itallerthan your average girl, thinner tha your average girl, and and active than your average girl. Yeah I run an ice crea business for a living, but like to thing I’m healthier than your average girl too. No priorn medical history. Nothing.

ย my first ever ride in an ambulance was uneventful - the hops;ital is a 5 minute drive from my folks’ house. By now I had somehow regained some ability to sspeak and answered the EMT’s incessant questionsining. still stuumbling over my words, even laughin at my mstakes.

Found this via the Kickstarter for Hardeman’s ice cream company.

Update: The NY Times just covered torn arteries, which was the cause of Hardeman’s stroke.