Nabisco scientists discover unstable Quadriscuit cracker

Inspired by the escalating blade count of the razor industry, Nabisco has developed a new snack called the Quadriscuit.

“At the moment, this hyperwafer can only exist for six milliseconds in a precisely calibrated field of magnetic energy, positrons, roasted garlic, and beta particles,” lab chief Dr. Paul Ellison told reporters at a press conference outside Nabisco’s $200 million seven-whole-grain accelerator.

The last line of the piece made me LOL for real. (thx, meg)

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